tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46237887763019649322024-03-04T23:05:45.573-08:00Getting Older ... Getting Wiser?words of wit & wisdom from someone who's been there, done thatstudio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-64021082789653617172013-06-27T07:15:00.003-07:002013-06-27T07:15:54.406-07:00Nathan ~ the man who most changed my life<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5Vv9LS4c6OMx9k8wBJwK3G1M5E_pGDI3JWiynJOBvLBV9Ls_xQP9hkO3BzGye5SInMIjnhNuV-DqeYuMVZHlmPapU9CtPxqLZctwW1u75hnNNQ_VjBeNEKujjL_ZPjx2G_FUTiuT_2q2o/s750/1984.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5Vv9LS4c6OMx9k8wBJwK3G1M5E_pGDI3JWiynJOBvLBV9Ls_xQP9hkO3BzGye5SInMIjnhNuV-DqeYuMVZHlmPapU9CtPxqLZctwW1u75hnNNQ_VjBeNEKujjL_ZPjx2G_FUTiuT_2q2o/s1600/1984.jpg" /></a></div>
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Nathan.</div>
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To say he changed my life is an understatement. </div>
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He shattered it and then helped me put it back together again.<br />
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It was thirty years ago tonight that Nathan came into my life and it hasn't been the same since. And I count that as a VERY good thing. </div>
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You see, I was single & selfish. I had no clue I was even selfish. My parents lived five hours away. I had married at 20 & divorced at 22. My brother and I had been roommates but I had just moved into an apartment on my own. I only had myself to care for & about so it didn't seem selfish. I worked out a couple hours every evening <span style="font-size: x-small;">(body building)</span> then I went to my favorite bar, slept, got up & went to my good paying, tolerable job; repeat. I drank entirely too much and all the men I dated were from "my" bar. </div>
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My life wasn't unsatisfactory to me but it was meaningless. </div>
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And then, one night, my contraceptive failed and somehow I KNEW the next day that I was pregnant. Back then you had to wait a couple of weeks to take a pregnancy test at the doctor's office. </div>
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So I waited. </div>
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Yep. </div>
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Pregnant. </div>
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If you've been there or ever had a scare & thought you might be there, you know all the things that ran through my head. Yet I knew from the onset that I would have this baby. And that I would have to change some things in my life. </div>
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I just had no idea how many things.</div>
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<br />
<br />
Flash forward to THAT day. The time exactly 30 years ago now when I'd been having minute-and-a-half contractions for two hours already. My mother was there. My best friend was there. But no one else. You see, when you're living a shallow life only for yourself, you find yourself very much alone in times of need. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3nv9Oso2PlWgjQ87pRtztlcUX42Wj0SV3eVkfeOKi27SFk9uIJJLPLHXS65fUbv6bhjtDDWcEdaUyIAV6aeC3n_pn4TpZVKNkYj2SA6xyI9F2F74F94eKfWHvkqHhzUYVqk3axxAQ6Wjs/s750/1983-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3nv9Oso2PlWgjQ87pRtztlcUX42Wj0SV3eVkfeOKi27SFk9uIJJLPLHXS65fUbv6bhjtDDWcEdaUyIAV6aeC3n_pn4TpZVKNkYj2SA6xyI9F2F74F94eKfWHvkqHhzUYVqk3axxAQ6Wjs/s320/1983-1.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>
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12 more hours of hard labor & a million expletives later, I met Nathan. As he lay in the warming bassinet getting cleaned up, he just stared at me. </div>
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Quietly stared. </div>
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And that was it. </div>
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I was a goner.</div>
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I was hooked forever and, whether he knows it or not, he is still somehow holding my heart in his hand.</div>
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And I realized over-night how much my mother knew and what I had put her through. I like to say her intelligence tripled that night but we all know that it was just my awareness of motherhood that changed. You see, despite my unwitting selfishness, my parents were ALWAYS there for me. I knew that moment for the first time that I had the best parents on the planet. And that I wanted to be that kind of Mom.</div>
Nathan and I lived with my folks until he was two and then we moved back to Dallas where I got to experience the joys & pains of single motherhood. I remarried. I had a beautiful daughter who also manages to hold my heart in her hand. I divorced. I remarried <span style="font-size: x-small;">(you can read all about that story </span><a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-my-husband-saved-our-marriage.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: x-small;">here</span></a><span style="font-size: x-small;">)</span>. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
But I never overcame what happened to me 30 years ago. <br />
<br />
Nor do I want to. <br />
<br />
You see, Nathan was born that day.<br />
<br />
And in addition, a mother was born. <br />
<br />
And she is much better off than she was before - despite the fact that her heart has to live now in two different places with her children.<br />
<br />
I thank God daily that I had my kids. <br />
<br />
That He broke into my life and reduced <span style="font-size: x-small;">(unfortunately, not removed LOL)</span> the selfishness and replaced it with a love that I could not even fathom before.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh470qOZEnZXJHC9q7CwgWq1LbtT2aZhpfC91GabtIrK3w8O3mqWFL44SIlEbtbiISdbAozmTrPsX8gCxbmIiK1zgcML3Gmh5SJC2gCqn5KyuyAC3mT7P7Njku0GZa4_OTWkBBjZT8xao59/s750/2013.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh470qOZEnZXJHC9q7CwgWq1LbtT2aZhpfC91GabtIrK3w8O3mqWFL44SIlEbtbiISdbAozmTrPsX8gCxbmIiK1zgcML3Gmh5SJC2gCqn5KyuyAC3mT7P7Njku0GZa4_OTWkBBjZT8xao59/s1600/2013.JPG" /></a></div>
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Nathan.</div>
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My first-born.</div>
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The first "love of my life".</div>
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Happy Birthday Son.</div>
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I love you more than you could know.</div>
studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-13616697817316384932012-11-19T08:11:00.001-08:002012-11-19T11:45:55.638-08:00The PoorI have never been poor. <br />
<br />
There was a time when, as a single mother of two, I struggled to make ends meet. <br />
But I made 3 times what our congress had determined to be the poverty level for a family of three. <br />
So I wasn't poor. But I couldn't imagine how anyone could live on 1/3 of what I made. <br />
<br />
There was another, earlier time when I had to move in with my folks after having a baby. <br />
I had to quit work to be with my son who was so, so sick. <br />
My parents paid for my COBRA insurance and the rest of our bills.<br />
And I took food from the WIC program and the Earned Income Credit on my tax return.<br />
So I wasn't poor. But I couldn't imagine how anyone else made it without the help of a loving family or my government.<br />
I have never been poor. <br />
But that's only because other people helped me when I was young and because I had some excellent job skills later. <br />
<br />
Becuz I saw how easy it could be to become poor, I do NOT understand our country's current obsession with blaming everything on poor people. According to the current political mantra, it's not only their fault they're poor, it's their fault that our country is in this condition. <br />
Nevermind the crimes committed by wall street. <br />
Nevermind the unfunded wars, tax reductions, war on drugs and prison system. <br />
Nevermind the greedy or the hateful. <br />
It's all the fault of the poor. <br />
Oh. And of single moms. <br />
Especially poor single moms. <br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>(Couldn't single parenthood be a SYMPTOM of our society's failures instead of the CAUSE of them? <br />And shouldn't those condemning abortion, praise and support the women who choose to continue their pregnancies?)</em></span><br />
<br />
I hit a breaking point yesterday when I heard this mantra at church. <br />
<span style="font-size: large;">AT CHURCH!!!!! </span><br />
The body of Christ that is supposed to love everyone becuz He loved us.<br />
ESPECIALLY the poor. <br />
<br />
So I wrote <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sherry.ball.schoenfeldt/posts/4980409995216" target="_blank">a pretty long post on Facebook</a> about what I believe is wrong with our country's view on poverty and, more importantly, why it's wrong for the church to follow the world on this one instead of following Jesus. <br />
<br />
You are more than welcome to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sherry.ball.schoenfeldt/posts/4980409995216" target="_blank">read it there</a>.<br />
Thank you.studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-61337529927987927172012-08-14T05:51:00.001-07:002012-08-14T05:51:32.583-07:00in the meantime...Remember when summers were fun & relaxing? You know, when we were ten? <br />
Sure isn't that way anymore, is it?<br />
<br />
My summer has exploded into, well, for lack of a better word, lots of piles of dookie. <br />
Nothing bad is happening. Just LOTS is happening.<br />
And I know it's the same for most of you. <br />
Life is just so complicated and time consuming!! (I know, it's a shock!)<br />
<br />
So there's been no time for blogging or much of the other stuff I want to play with.<br />
BUT I haven't forgotten you!<br />
<br />
Actually, I'm thinking about several posts and even have rough drafts of a few ~ <br />
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something about leaving soul-sucking day jobs to pursue your passion; </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
something about my kids; </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
something about parenting in general.</div>
However, all the little piles are keeping me from organizing my thoughts enough to actually say what I want to say in a meaningful way.<br />
<br />
So please know that I'm thinking of you and being quite thankful that you aren't in desperate need of any Sherry advice LOL. I'm wondering if there's something you want to hear about or, even better as far as I'm concerned, if you'd care to share with me what's going on with your life. studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-622425186824196642012-06-25T06:14:00.000-07:002012-06-25T07:33:18.226-07:00it just goes to show you, it's always something...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Uqia5rcGthiVJOx-mn1fbeUefegdkBCaCWXJXL3D4bmEm_SKqnbldjXP0D1G3YFoaauTSPrcN6Fm8MxsphylVCBqK879vR-YJKiyiz-2Sy8KI3keSER3qxgOTBGkpSkwo1aeoYArtBk/s1600/Rosannadanna.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" rca="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Uqia5rcGthiVJOx-mn1fbeUefegdkBCaCWXJXL3D4bmEm_SKqnbldjXP0D1G3YFoaauTSPrcN6Fm8MxsphylVCBqK879vR-YJKiyiz-2Sy8KI3keSER3qxgOTBGkpSkwo1aeoYArtBk/s400/Rosannadanna.jpg" width="397" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"Well, it just goes to show you, it's always something ~ </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">if it ain't one thing, it's another."</span></div>
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Roseanne Roseannadanna </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">a Gilda Radner character on SNL</span></div>
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Sometimes life hits a bump in the road. Sometimes they're huge but usually they're not.</div>
<br />
I have been very fortunate to only have hit a couple of big bumps. A baby wasting away. Divorce. Twice. <br />
When I've hit one of these big bumps, I've gone into autopilot mode and just functioned. For instance, when Nate was diagnosed at seven weeks, I don't remember anything between walking across the skybridge from the doctor to the hospital and soaking in the tub a week later - after the emergency was over. I call this grace. <span style="font-size: x-small;">(Thankfully I haven't suffered the loss of anyone close to me ~ I call that extreme grace!)</span><br />
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But, quite frankly, I stink at handling those medium size speedbumps!! And I mean, I stink BAD!!! <br />
Sure I've written about change and conquering fear and being content & grateful. But when the not-so-pleasant unexpected happens, I just get totally overwhelmed. And when I get overwhelmed, I prefer to hide under the covers until everything is done ~ not practice what I preach! So, knowing how little that accomplishes, I cry and get mad at God. Yes, I know that doesn't accomplish anything either. And sometimes other people get caught in the crossfire. <br />
<br />
Right now there's a confluence of a few small problems and one medium size problem that is just causing me to freak out. None of these issues is life threatening <span style="font-size: x-small;">(or even long-term health threatening)</span> or financially devastating. I know it will all work itself out in a few weeks, a month at most, because action has been taken. <br />
<br />
But in the meantime, I burst into tears easily and am soooooooooooo frustrated.<br />
Because I am forced to remember once again how little control I have over my own life. <br />
I'm smart. I'm well-read. I make informed decisions. <br />
But in the end, I'm always functioning at least partially in the dark. <br />
I do not know what's around the corner. I do not know what others are going to do. <br />
And I don't like that.<br />
I'm not a control-freak ~ I'm actually pretty laid-back about planning and spontaneous <span style="font-size: x-small;">(tho, I have to admit, not nearly as spontaneous as when I was younger - but that's a whole other issue entirely LOL) </span><span style="font-size: small;">but I don't like it much when my informed decisions and/or spontaneous actions blow up on me in just a few weeks! </span><br />
<br />
I have a long way to go in my spiritual journey. I keep getting taught the same lessons over and over because, in addition to those things I've listed above, I'm also a wee-bit hard-headed.<br />
And I know two of the lessons I need to re-learn from this:<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">rely on Him</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">be grateful</span></li>
</ul>
I'm sure there are others I need to learn or re-learn as well. <br />
<br />
This blog is supposed to be a place to share what we've learned. <br />
But I'm not sure that really applies to this post. <br />
Except maybe to encourage you to learn the lesson the first time.<br />
You know, do as I say, not as I do.<br />
hehestudio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-71480602885810334662012-05-10T09:11:00.002-07:002012-06-11T11:09:33.548-07:00death BY taxes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK7zC5MVK89XwBJY6KgYkE-dy-LyyHvvbCkQj5f3CyHWQ6jcVFveAA1Bb3sAlzFsjAZ13-RLa9_FmGiPflPx6kbhcNcSUBW5_ao1J0MY4Iq2VrrCL8-_OkWQeHlylIAD0nd9_fsHag5js/s1600/2011-06-25_06.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" dba="true" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK7zC5MVK89XwBJY6KgYkE-dy-LyyHvvbCkQj5f3CyHWQ6jcVFveAA1Bb3sAlzFsjAZ13-RLa9_FmGiPflPx6kbhcNcSUBW5_ao1J0MY4Iq2VrrCL8-_OkWQeHlylIAD0nd9_fsHag5js/s400/2011-06-25_06.JPG" width="296" /></a></div>
Benjamin Franklin famously said "in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." But I think this year for my creative mojo, the outcome has been death <strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">BY</span></strong> taxes. <br />
<br />
I shared this about a week ago on <a href="http://pashnada.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">my other blog</a>, but felt I should share it here as well ~ after all I've been gone from here a long time too! Not only did tax season wipe out my time, energy and creativity while I was working, I think it may have wiped it away for good!!!<br />
<br />
Okay, okay, there have been glimpses of life ~ perhaps my creativity hasn't flatlined yet ~ an idea in the middle of the night, a stirring of the soul at the sight of something beautiful, actual success at my part of a group project. But putting words together in a coherent fashion? <strong><span style="font-family: inherit;">NOT</span></strong><br />
<br />
So don't write me off yet ~ hopefully I'll have something profound to share soon. Or at least something funny.<br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: inherit;">(LOL ~ write off ~ still talking tax lingo!)</span></em>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-80341613122606816052011-12-02T05:41:00.000-08:002012-06-25T07:25:48.761-07:00My 5 Top Beauty Tips<span style="font-family: inherit;">I doubt you woke up this morning thinking you didn't look your best so you better rush over to blogland to see what Sherry had to say.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">LOL</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But I did wake up this morning thinking about some things I've seen and some conversations I had this week and decided to pass along some advice, solicited or not.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So here are my top 5 beauty tips, in no particular order:</span><br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong><u>Know that your value is NOT derived from your outward appearance but from your character.</u></strong> <br />Practice the true beauty of love & kindness. <br />Have integrity.<br />Remember your life is not just about you; you are here to make this world better for the people you encounter everyday.<br />Act beautiful.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong><u>Know that you are beautiful.</u></strong><br />Even tho true beauty comes from within you need to remember that you are outwardly beautiful. <br />Stop listening to the bullies from middle school who now reside in your head. <br />Stop giving the cruel adult power over you now.<br />You are beautiful. <br />Know it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><u><strong>Smile. A lot.</strong></u><br />I mentioned this in my </span><a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/08/lessons-from-photo.html" target=" "><span style="font-family: inherit;">post about looking younger</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">. A smile covers a multitude of "flaws".<br />Smiling has this funny cyclical thing going - you smile and you feel both happy & confident which makes you smile more. And happy, confident people are attractive ~ others will be drawn to you in the hopes that your happiness will wear off on them too.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><strong><u>Stand up straight!!!</u></strong><br />Okay, I could go on about this for hours! It absolutely drives me nuts to see women all slouched over - stand up straight and your clothes fit better, your figure looks better and your back will thank you one day.<br />And while I'm sounding like a Mom, pick up your feet when you walk!!<br />(sorry to nag)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><u><strong>Moisturizer with Sunscreen ~ face, neck & décolletage ~ everyday</strong></u><br />I don't mean just for anti-skin-cancer reasons, I mean for your looks.<br />There are two great big things outside of you that work against you as you age ~ things we need if life is to survive on this planet but that take a great big toll on our appearance:</span> <div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">gravity and the sun</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I haven't heard of an anti-gravity cream (please, please call me if you do) but there are anti-sun creams and your 50+ year old self will bless you for using them. I can't tell you how many times when I look in the mirror now I wish I'd used sunscreen when riding in the Miata with the top down. You're going to have to take my word on this becuz photos will not be provided!!</span> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEKdXXLsk9ZJq7l33nR31eUXfCDyqti5iJhQQYHnLJsRxzyCoAM45EI0B0kW_morJ5pJLEtyIwpllRB6hEGktTrit2ZoS2SUradaj9iVOxGPeI7gmsBhHYEfr-_7C3uCQp44KHQJgsspw/s1600/sun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEKdXXLsk9ZJq7l33nR31eUXfCDyqti5iJhQQYHnLJsRxzyCoAM45EI0B0kW_morJ5pJLEtyIwpllRB6hEGktTrit2ZoS2SUradaj9iVOxGPeI7gmsBhHYEfr-_7C3uCQp44KHQJgsspw/s400/sun.jpg" width="363" /></span></a></div>
</li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Ladies, looks aren't everything. Who you are to others is what matters.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But I know you care and there is nothing wrong with that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And putting your prettiest self out there is easy and inexpensive when four of the five are decisions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">now if I could just figure out that anti-gravity cream . . .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-61572183289316605822011-11-26T07:27:00.000-08:002011-11-26T07:27:18.578-08:00things learned along the way<div style="text-align: center;">saw this <a href="https://www.facebook.com/?sk=lf#!/photo.php?fbid=132823900160071&set=a.113978972044564.18540.113971872045274&type=1&theater" target=" ">on Facebook</a>, laughed & decided to share: <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglKSg6VA7XSK3_N3Clakd0Vzu3jtcYe48SU5JziwjbAJYQ7AoX5tu0O0wC_GLRvipwsq1FHkthJuO5jYIKw9K44yHN37oPxc_herAeP4Z8K10qP8j4Q6_84GeYLaHCPQqqcAWwqjQyTBc/s1600/truths.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hda="true" height="568" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglKSg6VA7XSK3_N3Clakd0Vzu3jtcYe48SU5JziwjbAJYQ7AoX5tu0O0wC_GLRvipwsq1FHkthJuO5jYIKw9K44yHN37oPxc_herAeP4Z8K10qP8j4Q6_84GeYLaHCPQqqcAWwqjQyTBc/s640/truths.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">have a great day</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and despite what this photo says, don't ever quit laughing</div></div>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-61737660884619830672011-11-24T07:45:00.000-08:002012-06-25T07:22:37.397-07:00I'm thankful for . . .<div align="left" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for forgiveness, grace and mercy becuz I am in dire need of them all.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that I will practice forgiveness, grace and mercy with others.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I'm thankful for my mistakes as they've made me who I am and I like who I am now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that others will learn to forgive themselves, live without regret, and, most of all, like themselves!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful that I live in this time, in this country where women have the same freedoms as men to vote, to speak, to pursue their dreams. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that this will continue here and that all people everywhere will be free from oppression & repression.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for the constitution that guarantees my right to practice my religion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or not. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where I am guaranteed the right to speak my mind, to protest my government, to assemble. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that we will remember the price paid for those freedoms and value them accordingly, that all people everywhere will have these same freedoms.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for my parents, Uni & Bill Ball, who not only taught me the rules but taught me to love without condition, to think for myself, to value the thoughts of others, to have compassion for those less fortunate, to appreciate the differences – not to mock them.</span></div>
<div align="left" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that I might be a loving parent, spouse and friend as modeled by them; that I will value what makes people different from me and not try to force them into a mold.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for my husband, Patrick Schoenfeldt, who loves me, not inspite of all my weirdness but becuz of it, who tells me I’m beautiful so often that I believe him, who knows my dreams and works toward them with me, who inspires me to be loving, who understands that domesticity is not as important as passion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(If you want to know more you can read the <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-my-husband-saved-our-marriage.html" target=" ">blog posts about how he saved our marriage here</a></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">)</span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that I will love him as well as he loves me and that he will always be here with me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for my children, Nathan Opdyke and Dani Turner, who give me so much joy, who actually like to spend time with me, who are affectionate and smart and kind and good friends to their friends; that I can see myself in them yet see how different they are from me and from each other </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(tho this took me some time to see)</span></span><span style="font-size: 11pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;">.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that they can learn from my mistakes, that they will know the love I’ve known, that they will have all they need and then some, that they KNOW they are loved beyond measure. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for my home that is a haven from the craziness of the world, that’s cooler than the summers and warmer than the winters, that is often filled with family & friends, fun & laughter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that people everywhere will have a safe haven, a place to weather storms; that they can too be surrounded by those they love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for art – both in the big sense of the word and that I am pulled to do it; that I now have time & space to do it; that it’s brought me in contact with other creative people who contribute so much to my life on so many levels.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I pray that I will never cease to have new creative ideas and the time to try them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And that people will “get” it and be willing to pay for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for work for both Patrick and myself; that Patrick loves architecture & gets to practice it at a firm that actually has work; that I’m good at accounting & that in these tough times I am able to pick-n-choose between assignments; that I don’t have to do it 60 hours a week any more </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(see the previous section)</span></span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that we will always be able to do what we love and know that that is more valuable than money.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for friends, the ones in-person and the ones on-line who I’ve never met up close; for all they contribute to my life and my art; for the support they’ve given me and the times they’ve set me straight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that I will be a good friend, honest, loyal and giving.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for Facebook & Blogger where I’ve reconnected with old friends, met new art friends and been able to get to know two younger cousins.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m also thankful that I can hide, unfriend, block or ‘mark as spam’ those who only contribute negativity.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that I will be a positive contribution to the online world and appreciate the differences in our great, vast world.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for my mind.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that I use it well and it lasts as long as my body – or longer.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for Diet Coke™, margaritas and dark chocolate </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(tho not margaritas with dark chocolate)</span></span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I pray that I can learn to exercise moderation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 11pt;">I’m thankful for high heels.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;">nuff said :)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">I hope you have a wonderful day with family, friends and food</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">filled with laughter and memories</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">and that your grattitude is known by all</span></div>
studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-83463698708987944992011-11-04T07:01:00.000-07:002011-11-04T07:01:04.054-07:00time management<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfqZtE7-m6-sce8R8JzV4pWLMUEAG_HnGBciPtiIbM7xBZDWZQEcBVeUcrg4ixaAU_44CQLnEbIQisIDQgrex8-Eef6R0fQ1LsnpsCd0cUWj1y91jVlNAN6AEMHXKXKjTv4HPfKdESg3s/s1600/Yikes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" ida="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfqZtE7-m6-sce8R8JzV4pWLMUEAG_HnGBciPtiIbM7xBZDWZQEcBVeUcrg4ixaAU_44CQLnEbIQisIDQgrex8-Eef6R0fQ1LsnpsCd0cUWj1y91jVlNAN6AEMHXKXKjTv4HPfKdESg3s/s640/Yikes.jpg" width="396" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">today I'm not offering any words of wisdom</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I'm seeking them</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">the list of things I want to do</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and the list of things I need to do</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">are both so incredibly long</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and just like you,</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">my time it too short</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">HOW DO YOU DO IT?????</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Please, please, please share</span></div>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-43833154439312543582011-08-29T07:03:00.000-07:002012-06-25T07:18:04.870-07:00lessons I learned about looking younger from a photo<div style="text-align: center;">
<table style="font-size: x-small; text-align: center; width: 90%;"><tbody>
<tr valign="top"><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNOdu6doT8HW623p8ZE3gF7a8OwAC5O1AjA9-FmLUyn7y49iSWkZ9NxiigJf85BthxwVoYbwIJAzglugGhYvn3MKjwpFB8cDXAuS0w4PxV1giVUzoTv5tTd67k15h-nIvfYO3AcM8Epmc/s1600/mom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNOdu6doT8HW623p8ZE3gF7a8OwAC5O1AjA9-FmLUyn7y49iSWkZ9NxiigJf85BthxwVoYbwIJAzglugGhYvn3MKjwpFB8cDXAuS0w4PxV1giVUzoTv5tTd67k15h-nIvfYO3AcM8Epmc/s1600/mom.jpg" /></a></td><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWtevOCt_sLUJ54bnSigjgswMi7OWmgwn6bwc8dEUr1ZOWhrlMqzmMlSBdnL0Gf6xJ5xhW-2lUFx5uwdZtlEHXACSUFHkaxhz3Y31hqN9T-7XT9xrlkezlkSiivHYWMios2AKH6bl7VCw/s1600/gball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWtevOCt_sLUJ54bnSigjgswMi7OWmgwn6bwc8dEUr1ZOWhrlMqzmMlSBdnL0Gf6xJ5xhW-2lUFx5uwdZtlEHXACSUFHkaxhz3Y31hqN9T-7XT9xrlkezlkSiivHYWMios2AKH6bl7VCw/s1600/gball.jpg" /></a></td><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYunT6CGko4OxvXo7WyUBQrtEM5DQTZiQVNezmYjNSyOY_uwa06Mc1OO-7RLt3bCzfVlcAwUUEySMPQHPPwoWpfAH17oLxoPMNY5BqtzYL53ZmBJjViuecLxweMDu5sQgIJawnF1MTPvw/s1600/gcook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYunT6CGko4OxvXo7WyUBQrtEM5DQTZiQVNezmYjNSyOY_uwa06Mc1OO-7RLt3bCzfVlcAwUUEySMPQHPPwoWpfAH17oLxoPMNY5BqtzYL53ZmBJjViuecLxweMDu5sQgIJawnF1MTPvw/s1600/gcook.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr valign="top"><td><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mom</span></td><td><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Dad's Mom</span></td><td><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mom's Mom</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I am a big collector of family photos and as you can see my mother and grandmothers could have all been movie stars ~ perhaps some of it was the black & white photography, but I tend to think they were all just hotties. I'm sure you can understand why I want to believe it's genetics ~ hehe.</div>
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But I learned a lot more about looking younger from this picture taken when my grandmother was older than from any of the pictures taken in her youth. And I will share my "secrets" with you</div>
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<tr><td valign="top"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHY8PBh7NGkIZPpCfF3dT3O6mAwx5V1beF5MxYqkRegukc2jKQR9l7-YYDxBJIsDr9N1a72_5t_PV0xNbW8Fkq5s9nvKUpELD3pO6AqBDU2R8b68f_-vgjtvxxsocqKI4OTRVJNA-g4IM/s1600/1962.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHY8PBh7NGkIZPpCfF3dT3O6mAwx5V1beF5MxYqkRegukc2jKQR9l7-YYDxBJIsDr9N1a72_5t_PV0xNbW8Fkq5s9nvKUpELD3pO6AqBDU2R8b68f_-vgjtvxxsocqKI4OTRVJNA-g4IM/s400/1962.JPG" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mom, Grandma Cook, Me, Great-grandma Dennis</span></td< tr=""> </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">* smile</span> ~ we were celebrating Christmas when that photo was taken but you sure can't tell if we were having fun or not! Smiles might not make us look younger but being happy is better than looking young any day. (Mom says it's cuz it took so long for pictures to be taken back then!!)<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">* </span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">wear clothes that suit your shape</span></span> ~ I don't think anyone looked good in those shirt dresses besides Barbara Billingsley on Leave It To Beaver! No matter how you're shaped, there are clothes that emphasize what you like and others that show what you prefer to keep hidden. Choose accordingly.<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">* hair</span><span style="font-size: small;"> ~ what can I say?</span> </span> You don't have to color your hair ~ several of my friends don't and they look amazing. I'm not quite there in the bravery department! But whether you color your hair or not, if you wear it like an old lady <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">OR</span> like you did in high school, your age is going to show.<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">* overall image matters more than the details</span> ~ if you could look closely at this picture, you would see my grandmother has no wrinkles! Her skin is soooooooooooo smooth. But that's not the first impression you get from looking at this picture.<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">* be prepared</span> ~ this photo showed me that double chins and weight gain are just as likely to be in my genetic code as movie-star good looks so I already have a chin surgery fund!! Okay, not really but I've joked about it for a long time. I do prefer photos be taken from slightly above so my chin, well, only has one layer. When I got my drivers license renewed this year I noticed that my chin line is a lot less distinct than it was 4 years ago! yikes! <br />
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Right now my age is half-way between the ages of my grandmother and great-grandmother in the photo above. I think you'll agree that one of the above lessons took ~ I sure know how to smile and laugh!!studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-66475186457130213702011-08-17T05:00:00.000-07:002012-06-25T07:14:24.884-07:00Conquering Fear<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMSXChUSoAIQzL0oEKU0_BfNRHsRsbyfT8lSIHp2pmxLgUN1GzxsXWHqFeW1ND7oRoTesy3XmrRZ8Si6p1aqKzoKD5M_d4TNKEj1q44j1tHWAepmjhfUx_pGcfJTFF9IVsvIplCdiKi-LV/s1600/Little+Birdie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" naa="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMSXChUSoAIQzL0oEKU0_BfNRHsRsbyfT8lSIHp2pmxLgUN1GzxsXWHqFeW1ND7oRoTesy3XmrRZ8Si6p1aqKzoKD5M_d4TNKEj1q44j1tHWAepmjhfUx_pGcfJTFF9IVsvIplCdiKi-LV/s400/Little+Birdie.jpg" width="313" /></a></div>
In my last post, I talked about <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/07/dealing-with-change.html"><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>change </strong><span style="font-size: small;">and its best buddy, </span><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>fear</strong></span></span></a>. Now I'd like to give you some words of encouragement about dealing with fear: <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Don't wait until the fear goes away before you act -<br />act until the fear goes away.</span></div>
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Please don't think I'm being glib or unrealistic or foolish. I decided to go for it with my art but I didn't just quit my day job and risk raising my kids in a cardboard box. As a matter of fact, it was years before I could quit my full-time job, then awhile longer until I could transition my part-time jobs into contract work, and it could still be another 9 months or twelve years before I can stop doing accounting altogether.<br />
<br />
So, what should we do with those fears?<br />
* acknowledge them<br />
* look closely at them<br />
* deal with them<br />
* move on even if the fear is still there <br />
<br />
What I am encouraging you to do is to think it through:<br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">What is my fear?</span> <br />Name it.<br />- Are you afraid you'll be embarassed? Um. So? Okay, <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">THAT</span> was glib. But really, it's not like you're having a wardrobe malfunction onstage at the Super Bowl. If embarrassment is your fear, then just be very careful who you tell - or tell no one.<br />- Are you afraid you'll fail? You've heard about Thomas Edison and his 3000 attempts to find a filament. Failing often breeds better ideas.</li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Where did this fear come from? </span>- Is that just me hearing mean old so-n-so again? We often play these tapes over-and-over in our heads because some kid in third grade or a cruel teacher or, worst of all, a bad parent told us we weren't good enough or we were stupid or some other judgment based more in their problems than on anything we did. Do we really want to give him/her/them control over our current life? <br />- Or, maybe it's your gut telling you something isn't quite right. Then research it a little more I'm a firm believer in listening to your natural instincts.</li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Is it a valid fear? Could this actually happen? </span>- Am I really incompetent? Be honest. Shut off the tapes and evaluate the situation and your abilities, time availability, energy level, etc. <br />- What is the absolute worst thing that could happen and could I live with it? Don't exagerate either. Again, be honest. I think you'd be surprised how much easier it is to do without material goods <em>(not basic food & shelter, obviously)</em> when you're doing what you love. That's why they have to pay you more to work for jerks than to work for nice people. </li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Can I address/resolve any valid issues/concerns?</span>Seriously, is there really a true possiblity that you cannot find a way thru or around this obstacle given enough time or effort? I am willing to bet you can find someone to help you in exchange for your help at something (quid pro quo makes the business world go 'round). Maybe your ideas dovetail with someone else's. Maybe your spouse is ready for you to finally be happy and will do anything to make your dreams come true <em>(</em>yay for my hubby who feels this way).</li>
<li><span style="font-size: large;">Make a plan. </span>Man. This step alone is a biggie. Jessica Howard has <a href="http://meylah.com/meylah/time-out-time-management-tips-for-creative-entrepreneurs" target=" ">a time management post </a>and her step three fits here: Make a map and keep following it. I'll just advise that you think of everything you can and then be <b>flexible</b>. New things will be thrown at you. Good things. Bad things. Boring things. Adjust the plan.</li>
<li>And then, to throw one more quote at you - probably one you've heard the most: </li>
</ol>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Just Do It!"</span> - Nike™</span><br />
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<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The artwork today is by </span><a href="http://baxtersmom1.blogspot.com/" target=" "><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Sylvia Drown</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. I "met" Sylvia in an online art-business class where we talked a lot about facing our fears. I couldn't believe how perfectly the quote on here dovetailed with my post and I am very excited to now own this piece.</span></a>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-19251672225713265762011-08-13T09:00:00.000-07:002012-06-25T07:03:56.672-07:00Dealing with Change<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs21DM4dFMr2lU_y2wt9AXxS_q6xvaGIYDR126RX0rl6NXhyViQ3m34PnnuGrsfzUaVafdh1Mn43PRqiR4RDqy0JkPXCYhXKp8WZKWSloDKH-CPSGZw80Yr88LKefSTZQVEBcE553hl2ZY/s1600/2010-07-20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><img border="0" height="640" hw="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhs21DM4dFMr2lU_y2wt9AXxS_q6xvaGIYDR126RX0rl6NXhyViQ3m34PnnuGrsfzUaVafdh1Mn43PRqiR4RDqy0JkPXCYhXKp8WZKWSloDKH-CPSGZw80Yr88LKefSTZQVEBcE553hl2ZY/s640/2010-07-20.jpg" width="435" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(if you read </span><a href="http://pashnada.blogspot.com/" target=" "><span style="font-size: x-small;">my other blog</span></a><span style="font-size: x-small;">, this may be familiar to you - <br />however I've made a few changes based on the clarity of a little more hindsight!!)</span></span><br />
<br />
I recently made a lot of changes in several areas of my life<em> </em><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">(downsizing, my art-business, my career, my online presence, not to mention this new blog with all it's self exposure)</span>. </span>And I'm sure I'll go thru more with my art itself as well as the kind of changes I'll have no control over as I age and as my kids go further in their adult lives.<br />
<br />
Change itself usually doesn't scare me - as you can tell by the 83 gazillion hair-styles I have had or the number of times I rearrange the furniture. <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(I had another birthday last month and I want to be sure that no one will ever be able to tell how old I am because I wear a hairstyle that screams which decade I went to high school or college!! hehe)</span><br />
<br />
But the ramifications of change can be paralyzing. Hair grows out. Furniture can be moved back. <br />
<br />
But quitting your day job to pursue your passion?!?!? Are you nuts? What if you don't sell anything and you end up living in a cardboard box? What if you sell so much that you can't keep up with demand? Okay, that last one is not one that's ever crossed MY mind, but you get the idea: <br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">the thought of change invokes fear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"></span><br />
<a href="http://silkepowers.blogspot.com/2010/07/time-to-fess-up.html" target=" ">Another artist-blogger wrote about this awhile ago.</a> The fact that she was able to step out of her fear long enough to throw it out into the world says a lot about how much she really wants to make this change.<br />
<blockquote>
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the Triumph over it. The brave man is not one who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."<em> -</em> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Nelson Mandela</span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go."<em> -</em> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">T.S. Eliot</span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepset fear is that we are powerful beyond measure...We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."<em> -</em> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Marianne Williamson</span></blockquote>
Looking back I find it interesting that we fear change but we don't fear being stuck in careers that suck out our souls; we fear change but we don't fear being taken for granted. We think of <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">CHANGE </span>as the big-bad-monster hiding under the bed and the status quo as comfortable. <br />
<br />
Yet if you're like me and so many others, you <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">KNOW</span> in your heart of hearts that this is not the life you should be living. Your fear of change is keeping you from being your true, best self.<br />
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When I post next time, I'll write more about facing our fears.studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-62221638447638211202011-08-06T12:54:00.000-07:002012-06-25T06:59:51.116-07:00so what did we learn from all this?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Yy7pgHLefyzkFBHGxUWvwq7JwoiAUM7E5HlHLxwyRzFKzjnyfVlVrzDIijR7GEAA8rcdyX2UiYaHyoZvD72lqmyDynbwcU5XVX5BPoXN66EiIo2BT5lc7dh3vtA-q_2G_HWw4oqP9Bk/s1600/Peace.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_Yy7pgHLefyzkFBHGxUWvwq7JwoiAUM7E5HlHLxwyRzFKzjnyfVlVrzDIijR7GEAA8rcdyX2UiYaHyoZvD72lqmyDynbwcU5XVX5BPoXN66EiIo2BT5lc7dh3vtA-q_2G_HWw4oqP9Bk/s1600/Peace.jpg" t$="true" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">first I wrote about <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-my-husband-saved-our-marriage.html">how my husband saved our marriage</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">then <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/08/and-now-in-his-words.html">he told you his side of the story</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">now, what we learned:</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>LOVE DELIBERATELY:</u></span><br />
Love is a choice we make over and over again. Feelings might “just happen” but relationships don’t. When you decide to get married you are going to have to decide to love each other many times when the feelings aren’t so loving. Now I heard that at church so many times but I didn’t get it.<br />
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Nothing coasts uphill – you have to exert some effort to reach higher ground. Work at it.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>LOVE WELL:</u></span><br />
People won’t know you love them if you don’t love them the way they need to be loved. We tend to do for others what we’d like done for us but that might not be what they need. When I ask Patrick what he needs he always says “you’re doing a great job” and while I appreciate the thought, I want to get even better. So I asked him, when you were unhappy in a relationship, what were you upset about not receiving? This made it much easier – we all know what upsets us.<br />
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People won’t know how you need to be loved if you don’t let them know. You can’t tell them if you don’t know yourself. I’ve always been pretty self-analytical (one ex told me “you think too much”) so this one is easy for me but if it’s not for you, then ask yourself what I ask him.<br />
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No matter how “silly” you think something is, if it’s important to them, it needs to be important to you. For instance, I can be insecure (hello?!? two failed marriages here!!) but instead of telling me that’s stupid or silly, show me you love me and are there for me. <br />
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(OK, I know some of y’all are thinking “but what if he wants me to …” about something sexual – well, sex is NOT what I’m talking about here but I will mention it briefly later.)<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>SELFLESSNESS:</u></span><br />
This goes along with the first two: Put your mate first! I think most divorces are the result of putting your needs and wants first. Selflessness permeates the successful marriages I know and is a very predominant theme. Selfishness creates an environment of a test of wills. There is great satisfaction in knowing what your spouse wants and providing it to the best of your abilities.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>EVEN IF SHE/HE DOESN’T:</u></span><br />
Okay, I know that both partners should work on the marriage. But I also know sometimes that doesn’t happen. Even in good relationships, there will be days when somebody just isn’t trying very much. In bad relationships, there may not be many days when anybody is trying.<br />
<br />
But you try because you decided to, not because s/he is trying. You do it because you committed to it. Sometimes you’ll wear them down with your love like Patrick did and they’ll start trying too. Sometimes you’ll try and nothing will happen. Then after you’ve tried you might try something else like professional help.<br />
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(OK, let me be clear here – I am not saying to keep on loving a jerk who hits you – again I have some pretty strong opinions about this and they are mainly YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS and YOU SHOULD NOT ALLOW THIS to happen to you. Even more so if there are children around to see it. And in cases of infidelity, if you want to work things out then definitely both people need to be working and it would probably be a very good idea to have outside help. I’m talking about the normal ins & outs, ups & downs of relationships.) <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>GUYS, LET YOUR WIFE KNOW YOU WANT HER:</u></span><br />
Remember how much you desired her before you were married, and during the honeymoon. Let her know her know how desirable you think she still is, believe me there are a lot of benefits in it for you too.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>LADIES, LET YOUR HUSBAND KNOW YOU WANT HIM:</u></span><br />
You must have wanted him before you married him ~ why marry someone if you don't want them? Be sure you let him know you still do. And if you don’t still want him, then <u>do something about it</u>! <br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;"><u>THE OTHER STUFF IN LIFE:</u></span><br />
Life’s other problems are easier with a good relationship; the good things in life aren’t very enjoyable with a bad relationship. Put your marriage first and everything else kind of falls into place. Not saying there won’t be incredibly difficult times in your life; just saying your perspective will change.<br />
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Okay - we're done with this series. Phew! Boy, it's tricky to be so brutally open, yet we often think we're alone cuz nobody speaks up and says, "oh yeah, been there, done that!!" Especially about our shortcomings. I am so grateful to Patrick for doing this with me. And proud of him for going outside his comfort zone. <br />
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Please let us know what you think or if you want to discuss something more. <br />
<br />
Next week I'll be running some repeats from my other blog about change and fear.studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-15793920592012917612011-08-02T10:52:00.000-07:002011-08-06T13:03:08.057-07:00and now in his words<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1rnWnSaG88ex9F8DJugE6qzpGVPheXFRGqqUqD2fMT3R1DX9jHE6HrfAsIh_67DdkfkqfSlG41fkz1poAF5ff1lRFi9SwGDudZk_PqAxo6FyGqhCFX2U5_4Iq8O8huk8DkOWS1p-Ldc/s1600/15years-8.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-1rnWnSaG88ex9F8DJugE6qzpGVPheXFRGqqUqD2fMT3R1DX9jHE6HrfAsIh_67DdkfkqfSlG41fkz1poAF5ff1lRFi9SwGDudZk_PqAxo6FyGqhCFX2U5_4Iq8O8huk8DkOWS1p-Ldc/s640/15years-8.jpg" style="text-align: center; width: 600px;" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">photo courtesy of </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/katelyn-swanson-photography/101113947331?sk=wall" target=" "><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Katelyn Swanson</span></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Last time, I wrote about <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/07/how-my-husband-saved-our-marriage.html">how my husband saved our marriage</a> - today I'll let him tell the story:</span><br />
<br />
I don’t know if I single handedly saved our marriage, because it takes two to do that. I do however know that I made a conscious decision one day to try to improve all things in our marriage.<br />
<br />
Sherry was absolutely correct that we had let things slip in all aspects of our relationship and we were essentially roommates living our own lives. I was not happy with the situation or finding any satisfaction in my life. Sherry and I have always had a good relationship. However, I hate to admit that I never really was totally committed to it. I had never thought seriously about what Sherry needed from a husband or what she needed on all levels of her life (though as you know she isn't bashful about telling you). I know that was a big part of the problem because I had never totally invested in her and our relationship.<br />
<br />
At this very same time I was in some accountability groups with other men in our church and I began to really understand the biblical view of a family where it is the husband’s responsibility to set the tone for the entire family especially his wife. The Bible is very clear on this point in Ephesians 6:25-28 and I began to see that if I don’t show my wife that she is loved more than any other thing in my life, how is she to respond to anything else?<br />
<br />
So I made a decision to try to show Sherry that she is the most important thing in my life. It took a big examination of my own life to understand where I was falling short. I didn’t like what I saw, a self-centered, half-committed moron that was concerned more about trivial things than my marriage.<br />
<br />
I deliberately did not tell Sherry about what I was doing because I didn’t want to make a big deal about it because, first, if I wasn't able to pull it off nobody would know and, second, I wanted to approach this with as much selflessness as I could and see if she noticed. I knew I had a lot of mending to do so I was prepared to be in this for the long haul.<br />
<br />
The first thing I did was try to do as much for her as I possibly could. If you know her at all, you know that Sherry has never been a fan of housework while I don’t mind doing household chores. So I knew if I helped there it would help out on a lot of fronts. Also, having a diet coke ready for her when she got out of bed was a cheap but effective way to get her attention. Sherry was incredibly skeptical at first, wanting to know what my angle was but my sole purpose was to give her some relief so she would be able to focus more on her artwork ~ I wanted her to have the opportunity to spend her days doing what she loves.<br />
<br />
The other thing I concentrated on was finding out what else was important to Sherry. I never really understood the importance of knowing until I really concentrated on it. And I got a wonderful benefit, I found out who my wife is, that I was in love with who she is and that she is more important than anything in the world; I was falling deeper in love with her the more I understood her. My love continues to grow each day; the more I am around her the more it grows.<br />
<br />
To say the least, Sherry saw a profound change in my life and she began to embrace it and have confidence that this was permanent. This meant wonderful things to our marriage because as the love grew, the intimacy began to grow which just reinforces everything else and makes the love grow more. (Not to mention it smoothes over many potential potholes.)<br />
<br />
Looking back on it, this is one of the prouder moments in my life; that I was actually able to change its outcome. And I found out that I was married to the most beautiful, creative, intelligent, desirable women in the world for me. I just didn’t have part in saving my marriage, I made my life.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Next time - <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/08/so-what-did-we-learn-from-all-this.html">the lessons we learned from this</a></span>Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04717220405515732884noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-33076059512271010122011-07-30T07:54:00.000-07:002011-08-06T13:03:26.540-07:00How My Husband Saved Our Marriage<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgoaMt_xVfMJoag8hcH7oStHdNIcT4mOGSvdKW9Zd4Ea8fhfA4R8BOeyY1L8DMYuQFJqPaVEr6WV6TOHVN6Bm5zH8Kbz_KlHGDn0W2ywo_Opu0NF9ug46dBXekrka2GGXMz7zqBf9l7QU/s1600/18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgoaMt_xVfMJoag8hcH7oStHdNIcT4mOGSvdKW9Zd4Ea8fhfA4R8BOeyY1L8DMYuQFJqPaVEr6WV6TOHVN6Bm5zH8Kbz_KlHGDn0W2ywo_Opu0NF9ug46dBXekrka2GGXMz7zqBf9l7QU/s400/18.jpg" width="255" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">my handsome architect</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>“Your mom and I are in hell right now and the bottom line is marriage is hard. It’s really bleeping hard. It’s just two people slogging through the shit, year after year, getting older, changing — it’s a bleeping marathon, okay? So sometimes, you know, you’re together so long you stop seeing the other person...” <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">(by Stuart Blumberg & Lisa Cholodenko except using real f-bombs, not bleeping ;-p)</span><br />
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Being married <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">IS</span> hard. I’ve said that before (though maybe not as bleeping eloquently as Julianne Moore in the movie <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT</span>) and I’ve said before that the hard work is so<span style="font-size: large;"> so <strong>so</strong></span><strong> </strong>worth it. <br />
<br />
So I think now would be a good time to tell you the story about how my husband saved our marriage.<br />
<br />
About five years ago we let things get a little too comfortable between us. No, comfortable isn’t adequate – we let ourselves grow complacent. And like the character in the movie, I didn’t feel like I was being seen which to me translates as “you don’t love me”. Like so many of us, I need to feel understood, accepted and wanted in order to <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">KNOW</span> that I’m loved; for goodness sake, <strong>pay attention to me</strong>!!<br />
<br />
Heck, I make it pretty easy to know me – it’s pretty evident from this young blog that I’m not exactly the type to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself – so you also know that there was no way my husband could claim he didn’t know that I was unhappy. But still, nothing changed and we were soon just co-occupants of the same house. I was starting to not care that he wasn’t paying attention which meant we were going down a very dangerous path. I think complacency causes the death of more marriages than anything else – probably because a lot of the “anything else” is done because of the complacency.<br />
<br />
Then I few months later, I realized something <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">HAD</span> changed. But cynic that I am, I immediately assumed he was only paying attention to me because I lost some weight. Naturally I accused him of that but he just said no and wouldn’t fight with me about it.<br />
<br />
Instead he kept paying attention to me, showing me I was wanted and doing sweet things for me. Little things that meant a <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">LOT</span> to <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">ME</span>. I mean, diet cokes before getting out of bed? Heaven!! It took a little while but his love wore thru the shell I’d started to build and our marriage was back on track. Almost without me realizing what was happening.<br />
<br />
And then one day I woke up and saw how different everything was. <strong>He loved me!!</strong> We were closer than ever before, even closer than that initial period when you think you love each other desperately. Closer because we knew each other more fully and still loved each other more. People even started commenting on our relationship.<br />
<br />
The close, good relationship had crept up on me just like the boring, bad one had. Only, while we had coasted downhill, someone had to work hard to push us back up hill. And I figured since it wasn’t me, it must have been him (I’m pretty smart, in case you didn’t know).<br />
<br />
And being me, I just flat out asked him what changed. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-xTl4zTjIuYks9c4k7qHvwP1Lq5Kwk6cYyiibceQ3lWOyQlN4CpYKS-dSxiOvBD-OteHTXmbgK-VVKI1hzl0J8qbXip27zhLlYAF9DnXgLyda3RHLGv-ZfrsL3MKkEArWcxu0kRHMjQY/s1600/01.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-xTl4zTjIuYks9c4k7qHvwP1Lq5Kwk6cYyiibceQ3lWOyQlN4CpYKS-dSxiOvBD-OteHTXmbgK-VVKI1hzl0J8qbXip27zhLlYAF9DnXgLyda3RHLGv-ZfrsL3MKkEArWcxu0kRHMjQY/s400/01.JPG" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">a truly happy couple</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>He told me he decided that loving me was the most important thing he could do. Then he decided that he needed to love me the way I needed to be loved. <br />
<br />
And he did. <br />
Patiently. <br />
Despite me not seeing. <br />
Despite my accusations. <br />
Until. <br />
And still.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">next time: <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/08/and-now-in-his-words.html">what he has to say about all this</a> and after that: <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/08/so-what-did-we-learn-from-all-this.html">the lessons we learned</a></span>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-41658804459019857072011-07-22T17:37:00.000-07:002011-07-22T17:37:58.693-07:00Be Transparent<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0pL9n2A4H79-csxLo1R27n_FQaeI97C3KtOtKc1hNBARVs8ufd6q9tRRF9wpXl65lc8ONF0Ytm6jcrWqOubE67NyWq8cGBOMxY5QyhBmPi4QwSXFYyuxbcdr5Md35hcLKedyqERh2lUBh/s1600-h/see_me_4.JPG"><img 350px;?="" alt="See Me" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5418832789455587314" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0pL9n2A4H79-csxLo1R27n_FQaeI97C3KtOtKc1hNBARVs8ufd6q9tRRF9wpXl65lc8ONF0Ytm6jcrWqOubE67NyWq8cGBOMxY5QyhBmPi4QwSXFYyuxbcdr5Md35hcLKedyqERh2lUBh/s400/see_me_4.JPG" style="float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" width:="" /></a>Next week I'm going to run a series about how Patrick & I survived a rough spot in our marriage. But first I wanted to run this <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">(yes, it's another reprint from </span><a href="http://pashnada.blogspot.com/" target=" "><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">my other blog</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">)</span> because being transparent has some bearing on what we learned from what we went thru. So pardon the repetition if you read it before but . . .<br />
<br />
A few years ago, while working on a round robin tag book project called <a href="http://pashnada.blogspot.com/2009/09/nonconformity.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">SEE ME</span></a>, I sent an email out to everyone I knew asking them to describe me. <br />
<br />
Now I have to admit that the people who didn't like me much didn't answer. But otherwise the number one response was <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">TRANSPARENT</span> which made me happy because I do try to be transparent. Now, don't get me wrong - everyone doesn't know everything. As a matter of fact, I don't think any one person knows it <strong><u>all</u></strong>, though my husband comes close.<br />
<br />
I want to be real with those around me - if you're gonna love me, it's not gonna be cuz you only know the good parts.<br />
<br />
With that in mind, here's a little more about me:<br />
<blockquote>I am no Mother Theresa.<br />
And I am no Martha Stewart.</blockquote>I think I do a good job of loving my kids but baking for birthdays or Christmas? HA!! Why do that when there are so many local bakeries that need my financial support?<br />
<br />
I'm very organized as an accountant but getting everything else done in a timely manner? HA!! Where's the mystery in life if it all goes according to plan?<br />
<br />
And cleaning? What a joke!! I can't get the FUN stuff done let alone the stuff I hate. So you're gonna have to ignore dust bunnies at my house.<br />
<br />
So when I read this blog post, I had to pass it along: <a href="http://asoftplace.net/2009/12/being-really-real/" target="_blank">Being Really Real</a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Remember, perfectionism can be both irritating and BORING!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Click here to see more of my <a href="http://studiopashnada.com/collections/see.html">"See Me"</a> art</span>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-80737444859635637562011-07-14T06:37:00.000-07:002011-07-14T10:39:16.314-07:00ExerciseOver on Facebook I have been complaining about walking in this rediculous heat - I just don't like to exercise - what about you?I'm sure that you know all the reasons why we should be exercising just like I do. But doing it? That's a different story. <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">(If you read <a href="http://pashnada.blogspot.com/" target=" ">my other blog</a>, some of this will be familiar to you - hope you don't mind.)</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">Here are the top three reasons I don't like exercise:</span><br />
<u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">#3 - SWEAT</span></u><br />
<blockquote><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3tS5z8r7Jj9W8pl0aFY18Jszp8sn913I5JPTqTtO7Rrl44Ao81Q3NYuI16iCrFK1Ycio9sWjZmldaK0lqC7aFP_DwGQVluSH4GUX_EGqnXCKhGUzGdWmh1MYa2NpE5F3fCUO9pTsXGyJu/s1600-h/tomato.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" nx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3tS5z8r7Jj9W8pl0aFY18Jszp8sn913I5JPTqTtO7Rrl44Ao81Q3NYuI16iCrFK1Ycio9sWjZmldaK0lqC7aFP_DwGQVluSH4GUX_EGqnXCKhGUzGdWmh1MYa2NpE5F3fCUO9pTsXGyJu/s1600/tomato.png" /></a>I know some folks who barely sweat.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I am <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">NOT</span> one of them. Not only do I sweat, my hands and feet swell and my face turns red. Basically, I look like a very plump, very ripe tomato that has just been washed.</div></blockquote><blockquote>A photo of me looking this way does not accompany this paragraph!</blockquote><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">#2 - PAIN</span></u><br />
<blockquote>Whoever came up with the idea of "No pain, no gain" must have been a masochist. I mean, really, why does everything good for us have to be so painful? I wear some of those funny shaped walking shoes that are supposed to make your butt look better <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">(mine are by </span><a href="http://shop.fila.com/us/eng/women/shoes/detail/5PF018LZ" target=" "><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Fila</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"> and I really do love them tho not nearly as much as I love my </span><a href="http://www.christianlouboutin.com/#/the_collection/Spring Summer 2010" target=" "><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">Christian Loubotin high heels</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;"> - but I digress)</span> so when I'm done walking, my calves, thighs and padunkadunk all hurt. While this means I might possibly be beginning to achieve my goals, I still don't like it.</blockquote><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">#1 - TIME</span></u><br />
<blockquote>This is the one thing I know we all agree on - there just is <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">NOT</span> enough <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">TIME</span>. And exercise takes up a lot of it. <br />
Nuf said.</blockquote><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here are the top four reasons I do exercise</span><em> (at least sporadically)</em><span style="font-size: large;">:</span></span><br />
<u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">#4 - HEALTH</span></u><br />
<blockquote>As I mentioned earlier, we all know <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">WHY</span> we should exercise. And this is it. Reduced risk of heart disease, alzheimers, cancer and even osteoporosis. And so much more. This should be enough of a motivating factor, especially now that I'm so old, but...<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">NOT</span>!!!</blockquote><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFZ8oi_1qaIf-saHlCffI4z3onfqJQRio1gpHpt1CjwlyGsTp0ChaS0s0syaJxYdsH12emZSLdZHqnjZVSdUAaYSpK83BofP05LJ0oc5x_pSmapm777QTfPNElWVrJoOhKMpwpNxEMTy8U/s1600-h/YMCA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span></a><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">#3 - MIND-WANDERING</span></u></div><blockquote>This is my favorite part about walking. My mind goes anywhere and everywhere. For instance, I composed this whole blog post about how much I hate to exercise while walking. <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">(Now, this one does NOT work when I'm weight lifting. I have to count and all sorts of stuff that doesn't allow my mind to wander. But let's be honest, I can't even FIND my weights these days.)</span></blockquote><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">#2 - TIGHTER</span></u><br />
<blockquote>I will never be skinny again. Thank goodness! I mean really, check out these knobby knees ~ they're awful!<br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE4x2ZiAVC5n3q7xpTAIEcy88HEJCBq5wlRoxOcZGhR30Tmv1Hzr8EyvJAPWcS0KpJ6sYediiooRJ6HSqknRh7ZKDFScwASxkLC0wGFWoWQIZcxPHyttA9X_8K7d8QHTWwOrgmSYLl4A5k/s1600/skinny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" nx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE4x2ZiAVC5n3q7xpTAIEcy88HEJCBq5wlRoxOcZGhR30Tmv1Hzr8EyvJAPWcS0KpJ6sYediiooRJ6HSqknRh7ZKDFScwASxkLC0wGFWoWQIZcxPHyttA9X_8K7d8QHTWwOrgmSYLl4A5k/s320/skinny.jpg" width="107" /></a></div>but I do want to have fewer jiggles when I move and fewer rolls when I sit.</blockquote><u><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">#1 - EATING</span></u><br />
<blockquote>The number one reason I exercise when I do is cuz<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> I LOVE TO EAT</span>. Good food. Bad for you food. Fast food. <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">(Unfortunately, I don't like veggies. And salad, as far as I'm concerned, is a START to a meal, not a meal. Unless it's full of meat & cheese & other fattening foods.)</span> When I exercise, I can eat more and not gain weight. <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">ALRIGHT!</span> This is more motivation to me than a longer life. I know. That is sooooo wrong, but I'm trying to be honest with you.</blockquote>So there you have it. Why I usually don't exercise like I should. Why I do exercise when I do. <br />
<br />
What about you? How do you stay motivated? Or do you?<br />
<br />
Well, now that I've cooled off I can go get in the shower.<br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Then I can hop in the car, waste some fossil fuels by driving to the 7/Eleven and buy myself a Milky Way Midnight.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6jD7Sy-Ukz8Uv7fVDMDvqGBpD9V90-9tPd2cor77HXAaj2H-Ab-wC8f2c-JjiJM812G8VOAjMuWdjh-6QCLS2KaB3zeG03HmMZoxpg-s-e1J7cYfRqQqxyoAyTPX0JUADxuY9vZsWlYIr/s1600/midnight.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" nx="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6jD7Sy-Ukz8Uv7fVDMDvqGBpD9V90-9tPd2cor77HXAaj2H-Ab-wC8f2c-JjiJM812G8VOAjMuWdjh-6QCLS2KaB3zeG03HmMZoxpg-s-e1J7cYfRqQqxyoAyTPX0JUADxuY9vZsWlYIr/s1600/midnight.jpg" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;">mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm - that was worth the walk!<br />
<br />
</div>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-13798748332489885762011-07-12T05:00:00.000-07:002011-07-12T05:00:05.038-07:00Be Grateful<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXDubSPE3g2iPK1F3lvI1agMaEwlTEM7gfSVDN05se6c7Sf9L7HHgs2wZ-q6i_u62y5F3ZchshKO_ag3GdAQbbL5D4ybQu3ggrzmQxxxkrAhVnVfPu_uOAPvKveaY7-XFDzdNITcu_LXj5/s1600/father's+day+005.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" px="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXDubSPE3g2iPK1F3lvI1agMaEwlTEM7gfSVDN05se6c7Sf9L7HHgs2wZ-q6i_u62y5F3ZchshKO_ag3GdAQbbL5D4ybQu3ggrzmQxxxkrAhVnVfPu_uOAPvKveaY7-XFDzdNITcu_LXj5/s1600/father's+day+005.JPG" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">my husband Patrick and our kids, Dani & Nate a couple years ago</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>I wrote about cookies & contentment the other day. And that reminded me about something I posted on <a href="http://pashnada.blogspot.com/" target=" ">my other blog</a> awhile ago so I'm going to re-post it here with a few additions & changes.<br />
<br />
Around thirteen years ago, I read the book <u>Simple Abundance</u> by Sarah Ban Breathnach which was about getting what you wanted out of life thru the use of all sorts of visualization techniques in all sorts of journals. At the time I was working full time with two kids under 15 so I decided that if I did everything she suggested I wouldn't have time to pee let alone become a highly respected artist. But I did take one idea away from the book - keeping a gratitude journal.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"></span>And that gratitude journal changed my life. It sounds a little melodramatic, but it's true. It changed my relationships with my family because I was focusing on all the good instead of the day-to-day drudgeries and cuz I was no longer complaining about my job in every single conversation. And it changed my relationship with God because I realized if I was thankful, I must have someone to thank.<br />
<div></div><span style="font-size: medium;"></span><br />
<blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow." <span style="font-size: x-small;">- Melody Beattie</span></span></div></blockquote><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I made up pretty little journals and gave them to friends. I gave simple little books to everyone in my family and to everyone in my women's group from church. I don't know if anyone ever used them or if using them changed their lives. I just know how important it was to me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Life is hard and times are tough for most of us much of the time yet we still have so much to be thankful for. It's human nature to talk negatively more than positively as anyone who deals with the public can tell you - or anyone who's turned on the TV prior to the elections. And I'm no different - when I don't spend enough time reflecting on the good, I lack a certain graciousness in my speech and actions. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">So it's definitely time to remind myself again about all I'm grateful for:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">my husband</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">my kids</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">my parents</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">my home</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">good friends</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">time to do my art</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">steady contract work the last four years</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">getting almost out of debt</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">the blogosphere</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">getting wiser as I've gotten older</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">etc, etc, etc.....................</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-37449699102610873112011-07-10T08:10:00.000-07:002011-08-13T08:06:28.879-07:00One or None<div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL6c1m8RyP5mSnTooL5CDsVgpiyt4gRBtmF7x2OT89DcpK8vmmO8-_3s1ef7fSTq_USChU4bfIrTioCNhd6cRAcG6H5ZSS1gmAjN4QyO5LEyGvpvTZIzACnACGirAwy9yNfJ4kDWDRGRU/s1600/cookies.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" m$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL6c1m8RyP5mSnTooL5CDsVgpiyt4gRBtmF7x2OT89DcpK8vmmO8-_3s1ef7fSTq_USChU4bfIrTioCNhd6cRAcG6H5ZSS1gmAjN4QyO5LEyGvpvTZIzACnACGirAwy9yNfJ4kDWDRGRU/s400/cookies.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>When my son was a toddler we had this little routine we would go thru almost every time he wanted a snack:<br />
<br />
Him: Can I have some cookies?<br />
Me: You can have one.<br />
Him: I want two.<br />
Me: You can have one.<br />
Him: I want two.<br />
Me: You can have one.<br />
Him: I want two.<br />
Me <span style="font-size: x-small;">(slightly exasperated)</span>: You can have one. Or none.<br />
<br />
And, get this, most of the time he would walk away with zero cookies, thinking <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">HE </span>had taught <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">ME</span> a lesson.<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">*</span><br />
<br />
I'm not really sure what got me thinking about this today while I walked. Maybe it's because I ordered two breakfast sandwiches at Chick-fil-A yesterday <span style="font-size: x-small;">(hey, one was spicy, one wasn't - it's perfectly logical!)</span>. Maybe I was just hungry so I thought about cookies. I'm not sure why I thought of it but the story made me realize how often I do this with other things in life. <br />
<br />
How often have I wanted <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">MORE</span> so much that I did not appreciate <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">NOW</span>? <br />
<br />
I think this lack of satisfaction & contentment is ultra-common. Why do/did we have the home-loan fiasco, cheating spouses, wars? People not being satisfied with what they have and going to great lengths to get bigger, newer, more.<br />
<br />
But I'm not here to solve housing crises or wars, large or small. I'm here to tell you some things I've learned. The hard way. After multiple lessons. And this is a biggie:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Be satisfied.</span></div><br />
In her song <u>Soak Up the Sun</u>, Sheryl Crow put it this way:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">It's not having what you want<br />
It's wanting what you've got<br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOxZ0BjuQrNNqBW1ZUqOn441Hl-u8slbnJYqVJW6o8vCT1-D9t-4WUmt7Zlx-vRsH7YZF33J8k7C1-6aYD8CAsqrACjyjDgD37xmvUlhJCHsuG4eYkgQ-WcgJ_kwMlL5RtmcVpCgKfBNo/s1600/car.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOxZ0BjuQrNNqBW1ZUqOn441Hl-u8slbnJYqVJW6o8vCT1-D9t-4WUmt7Zlx-vRsH7YZF33J8k7C1-6aYD8CAsqrACjyjDgD37xmvUlhJCHsuG4eYkgQ-WcgJ_kwMlL5RtmcVpCgKfBNo/s1600/car.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">I mean, seriously, how great would I look in there????</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>In Hebrews 12:5 the writer says:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have.</div><br />
When we're not satisfied, when we don't live in gratitude for what we have, when we're not content:<br />
<ul><li>Our spouses & our children infer that they're not enough - not that we're ungrateful.</li>
<li>Our children learn that greed is good.</li>
<li>We complain and people don't want to be around us.</li>
<li>We infect our entire lives with bitterness.</li>
</ul><br />
Yes, there are times when some of us do not have enough money for both food & medicine, gas & the rent. Times when wanting more means needing enough. When you're afraid that your kids could end up living in a cardboard box or somewhere you are not. (Of course there are lots of times we think we're desperate but we're really not.) <br />
<br />
If we've practiced contentment before this then we can be at peace while we're doing what we have to do to provide. But if we've been ungrateful when times are good, what is left for us during the hard times?<br />
Depression. Despair.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">*</span> sooooooooooooo in the long run, Nate did teach me a lesson - by walking away with no cookies all those times, he never developed a love of sweets. The little skinny toot.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"> </span>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-75825641834919538912011-07-08T05:15:00.000-07:002011-07-30T07:54:51.097-07:00Marriage 101 - part B<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj7-j_WAw1F6pZ0YQki1ToVuvMX-bymG1m6svi5GdEDDF3cix-1CSrD1Nl10T4LM6iC2Dj5Fj_oYQQ4ZocpgVDMohN-zlmEh6cALsKtGQszrWmGVMbFWcugc9A1C0BVMgULSPCQ0RrWLU/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj7-j_WAw1F6pZ0YQki1ToVuvMX-bymG1m6svi5GdEDDF3cix-1CSrD1Nl10T4LM6iC2Dj5Fj_oYQQ4ZocpgVDMohN-zlmEh6cALsKtGQszrWmGVMbFWcugc9A1C0BVMgULSPCQ0RrWLU/s1600/1.jpg" /></a></div>When I wrote <a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/07/marriage-101.html">my last post about marriage</a>, I barely mentioned something really, really important ~ that <br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">the hard work is so, so worth it.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">In other words </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">JUST CUZ IT'S HARD WORK DOESN'T MEAN IT SUCKS</span></div><br />
I didn't want you to think that I was saying something negative. We have to work hard at almost everything in life in order to be successful. The most talented athlete in the world would still need to work hard. And hopefully s/he loves the work ~ if not s/he loves the results and the rewards.<br />
<br />
But I know that when I say <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">work</span>, you might think back to a <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">job</span> you hated. But really did you hate working hard or did you hate the type of work or the jerks you worked for or the lack of appreciation or all the above? I've even had a few jobs where there wasn't enough work and they were too boring.<br />
<br />
But I'm not talking about a job.<br />
I'm talking about a marriage that we want to be special and meaningful.<br />
I'm talking about putting in the effort to get what we want.<br />
I'm talking about exchanging our time & energy for a good marriage.<br />
<br />
And in addition to getting that good marriage, we'll learn to appreciate it becuz it cost us something (time & energy) and we'll learn to appreciate what our spouse has done becuz we see it cost him/her something as well.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">You work hard at your marriage becuz you love and value it.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">You value your marriage because you know the work it took.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: large;">That makes working hard a wonderful, cyclical thing.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I appreciate the comments I got to yesterday's post about what that hard work looks like and we'll talk more about it later. So please keep letting me know what you think ~ it's so much fun to me to get your emails and comments. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Thank you ~ Sherry</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-84816227403373634882011-07-07T08:41:00.000-07:002012-06-25T06:58:16.861-07:00Marriage 101<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJHlWTo5eaKE7k-ZPliwQDq35Z0djUVuLpHWcir8qNdiAlhPQxS7SUgN3PlAYycXqBtFH41qGIXWPp_mGJUuOWFEBKwvhwgZhFkMqWdBOgEssIZ0yCOblkWIWscqJqnRSII4rNfZN2Jlk/s1600/weddings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJHlWTo5eaKE7k-ZPliwQDq35Z0djUVuLpHWcir8qNdiAlhPQxS7SUgN3PlAYycXqBtFH41qGIXWPp_mGJUuOWFEBKwvhwgZhFkMqWdBOgEssIZ0yCOblkWIWscqJqnRSII4rNfZN2Jlk/s640/weddings.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">this could just as easily have read:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Three Strikes - You're Out!</span></div>
But I learned some lessons from strikes one & two. There is actually sooooooooooo much to say on this subject that the entire blog could be about the lessons I've learned from my three marriages. But here's the biggie<span style="font-size: large;"> :</span><br />
<br />
<blockquote>
Getting married is easy<br />
Getting divorced is easy <span style="font-size: x-small;">(legally - not necessarily emotionally)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Being married is hard work</span><br />
Hard work that is so, so worth it<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><a href="http://gettingolder-gettingwiser.blogspot.com/2011/07/marriage-101-part-b.html">(read more about this in part B)</a></span></blockquote>
we don't want to hear that when we're planning our big day<br />
we don't want to admit it when we're married and something isn't "quite right"<br />
we all want to think that what we have is special and transcendent and different from the rest<br />
<br />
we're absolutely right of course <br />
but we can't ignore the fact that even special transcendent love requires effort and maintenance! <br />
I mean, why would marriage be different from everything else in life???<br />
<br />
knowing this is just the first step<br />
but it's the most important step<br />
because if you know it's hard work you can make the decision to do it<br />
and reap the rewards!<br />
<br />
I'd love for us to discuss more about this work from two standpoints ~ <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
the work that needs to be done if you're considering marriage</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
the work that needs to be done when you are married</div>
Please let me know what you think, what you've learned, what you want to knowstudio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4623788776301964932.post-79909924550563168982011-07-06T08:19:00.000-07:002012-06-25T06:27:04.946-07:00Welcome!!!<table style="width: 98%;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="height: 275px; width: 275px;" valign="top"><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://active.macromedia.com/flash4/cabs/swflash.cab#version=4,0,0,0" height="275" id="sherry" width="275">"> <param name="movie" value="http://home.comcast.net/~threeofhardts/studiopa/sherry.swf"> <param name="quality" value="high"> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"> <param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"> <embed name="sherry" src="http://home.comcast.net/~threeofhardts/studiopa/sherry.swf" quality="high" wmode="transparent" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" width="275" height="275" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"></embed></object></td><td colspan="3" style="text-align: center;" valign="top"><div style="text-align: center;">Hi!<br />
I'm Sherry Ball Schoenfeldt and I am</div><div style="text-align: center;">a wife</div><div style="text-align: center;">a mother</div><div style="text-align: center;">a daughter</div><div style="text-align: center;">an artist.</div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">But that's not all. I've also</div><div style="text-align: center;">been a single mom</div><div style="text-align: center;">gotten divorced twice</div><div style="text-align: center;">worked a long time at jobs I hated.</div></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="3" style="text-align: left;" valign="top">You see, I'm "of a certain age" which is a nice, euphemistic way of saying I'm old but I don't want to admit I'm old, I get hot flashes but like to still think I'm still hot, and I have hopefully learned the lessons life taught me.<br />
<br />
And so, I thought I'd start a blog where I could share some of what I've learned - especially things I wish I'd learned earlier - and hopefully entice others to share their knowledge here as well.</td><td style="height: 275px; width: 275px;" valign="top"><object classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://active.macromedia.com/flash4/cabs/swflash.cab#version=4,0,0,0" height="275" id="my_family" width="275">"> <param name="movie" value="http://home.comcast.net/~threeofhardts/studiopa/my_family.swf"> <param name="quality" value="high"> <param name="wmode" value="transparent"> <param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"> <embed name="my_family" src="http://home.comcast.net/~threeofhardts/studiopa/my_family.swf" quality="high" wmode="transparent" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" width="275" height="275" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash"></embed></object></td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="4"><br />
Maybe young women will flock here to learn from us <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: small;">(after all, we all took advantage of what our mothers had already learned and our daughters actually take the advice we offer - LOL!!)</span><br />
<br />
But if not, we can still learn from each other ~ I know I haven't figured it all out yet, and maybe I never will.<br />
<br />
And we can laugh at some of the ways we learned the lessons.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">I want this blog to be very interactive so please<br />
<a href="mailto:studiopashnada@cox.net"><span style="font-size: x-large;">contact me</span></a><br />
if you're younger and you would like to hear what we've learned about something in particular, if you have some words of wit or wisdom to share or if you just have a story about a lesson learned.<br />
<br />
Thanks ~ Sherry</div></td></tr>
<tr><td style="width: 275px;"></td><td></td><td></td><td style="width: 275px;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>studio pashnadahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12636961378714714848noreply@blogger.com1