Marriage 101

this could just as easily have read:
Three Strikes - You're Out!
But I learned some lessons from strikes one & two. There is actually sooooooooooo much to say on this subject that the entire blog could be about the lessons I've learned from my three marriages. But here's the biggie :

Getting married is easy
Getting divorced is easy (legally - not necessarily emotionally)
Being married is hard work
Hard work that is so, so worth it
(read more about this in part B)
we don't want to hear that when we're planning our big day
we don't want to admit it when we're married and something isn't "quite right"
we all want to think that what we have is special and transcendent and different from the rest

we're absolutely right of course
but we can't ignore the fact that even special transcendent love requires effort and maintenance! 
I mean, why would marriage be different from everything else in life???

knowing this is just the first step
but it's the most important step
because if you know it's hard work you can make the decision to do it
and reap the rewards!

I'd love for us to discuss more about this work from two standpoints ~
the work that needs to be done if you're considering marriage
the work that needs to be done when you are married
Please let me know what you think, what you've learned, what you want to know


Sheri said...

Are you willing to follow your wedding vows the rest of your life? Look over them and study then, they are not just words on a piece of paper. They are the rules of marriage. When you say "I Do", you are agreeing to these rules for the rest of your life or the life of your spouse. You will be one person.

Nancy B said...

I got married in 1970 and I am still married to the same guy 41 years later. Our secret? Always try to put the other person 1st if you truly love them. Even in those very hard times. And there will be some hard times no doubt about it!
And that goes for both people - not just one of you. I always tell the kids don't marry them unless you love them with all your heart and they love you the very same way. I always tell them look somewhere else if it is only a one way street because it's not the real thing unless you both feel the same way!
My hubby says his secret is give the wife your pay check and take out the trash.

Sherry said...

Nancy, congratulations on 41 years! You are so right - both people have to be in it completely. And I love that your husband commented too!!

Aunt Sheri, that is a great idea - too often the words are said but little thought is given to what they really mean.