Marriage 101 - part B

When I wrote my last post about marriage, I barely mentioned something really, really important ~ that

the hard work is so, so worth it.

In other words

JUST CUZ IT'S HARD WORK DOESN'T MEAN IT SUCKS

I didn't want you to think that I was saying something negative.  We have to work hard at almost everything in life in order to be successful.  The most talented athlete in the world would still need to work hard.  And hopefully s/he loves the work ~ if not s/he loves the results and the rewards.

But I know that when I say work, you might think back to a job you hated.  But really did you hate working hard or did you hate the type of work or the jerks you worked for or the lack of appreciation or all the above? I've even had a few jobs where there wasn't enough work and they were too boring.
 
But I'm not talking about a job.
I'm talking about a marriage that we want to be special and meaningful.
I'm talking about putting in the effort to get what we want.
I'm talking about exchanging our time & energy for a good marriage.

And in addition to getting that good marriage, we'll learn to appreciate it becuz it cost us something (time & energy) and we'll learn to appreciate what our spouse has done becuz we see it cost him/her something as well.

You work hard at your marriage becuz you love and value it.

You value your marriage because you know the work it took.

That makes working hard a wonderful, cyclical thing.

   

I appreciate the comments I got to yesterday's post about what that hard work looks like and we'll talk more about it later.  So please keep letting me know what you think ~ it's so much fun to me to get your emails and comments. 
Thank you ~ Sherry

 

 

Marriage 101

this could just as easily have read:

Three Strikes - You're Out!

But I learned some lessons from strikes one & two. There is actually sooooooooooo much to say on this subject that the entire blog could be about the lessons I've learned from my three marriages. But here's the biggie :

Getting married is easy
Getting divorced is easy (legally - not necessarily emotionally)
Being married is hard work
Hard work that is so, so worth it
(read more about this in part B)

we don't want to hear that when we're planning our big day
we don't want to admit it when we're married and something isn't "quite right"
we all want to think that what we have is special and transcendent and different from the rest

we're absolutely right of course
but we can't ignore the fact that even special transcendent love requires effort and maintenance! 
I mean, why would marriage be different from everything else in life???

knowing this is just the first step
but it's the most important step
because if you know it's hard work you can make the decision to do it
and reap the rewards!

I'd love for us to discuss more about this work from two standpoints ~

the work that needs to be done if you're considering marriage

the work that needs to be done when you are married

Please let me know what you think, what you've learned, what you want to know